i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
