Please, let me fuck your mom
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
porn star boner night. come get it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize