i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize