I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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