How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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