thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
