And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
