You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
