Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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