i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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