Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
