I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize