i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
sarcasm needs its own font
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
