you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
