I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
