No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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