he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
