you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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