Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
