he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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