I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
They are going to name an STD after you.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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