I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize