just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
