Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
