I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
