a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I still have a little drunk in my system
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
