chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
