I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
