I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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