We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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