if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
