My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
