there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
