problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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