thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
