She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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