the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
