So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
vagina is talking i cant
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
