No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
