Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
