just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
