Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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