The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i will never coherently bang her
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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