my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
