I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Are we still banned from the library?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
