Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
