I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
