I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
