quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
