Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
