hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize