NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
