I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
