sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
