My liver just broke up with me...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
