I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
