I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
