you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
