I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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