Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
