For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
