If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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