I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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